#2 Doing things for the last time

For many years, we’ve had a dream. To one day live in a house, with a garden, near nature. At the time it felt impossible, as much as Agnes passing her driving license. Still, we decided to ‘just start’ by saving up whatever little we could.

A lot has happened since then. We became parents, moved countries, found our callings and even started this letter. And then, last January, we gave up something else that was limiting. A belief that our dream would remain a dream. What if we could make it happen?

We opened a website, entered our best-case scenario and there it was - a little house, with a garden, nested in a forest. A house that, just like our dream, was yet to be built.

We had no idea about the location, no friends there, no school or job to justify living in this particular place, no car, no deposit or mortgage, no recommendations or reviews. Why then did it feel right anyway?

There were two forces at play. FEAR, which was pushing us away, yet keeping us safe and a need to CREATE, which was pulling us towards change. 

It is now December and in 2 days time we will wake up in Åkersberga. Knowing that our time in Bagarmossen is coming to an end has remarkably changed how we experience every moment since, as if happening for the last time.

Doing things as if they were happening for the last time amplifies the experience. This is the case for even the most ordinary things, repeated many times before. Imagine going for a walk, looking at a frozen lake or eating a cardamom bun and thinking to yourself that it might be for the last time.

For us it was the last woodpecker loop, the last lunch in the square, the last dip in the lake, the last 360 hike in the forest, the last loaf of bread from Lilla Bagis, the last day at nursery, the last playdate, the last hangout with the neighbours, the last golden autumn, the last trail run, the last lunch at Hellasgården, the last game of catch in Brotorp, the last orienteering, the last home baking at the Bergholmstorpet Scouts.

What’s most incredible about doing things for the last time, is that while on the surface these are the same everyday activities, we experienced them more profoundly, as if amplified, in HD, in 4k.

Noticing the freshness of the bread, the smell of the forest and the sound of the forest floor, the stillness of the lake’s surface, the signs of passing time told by seasons, locked in colours of the two magnificent maple trees standing right outside our windows. Appreciating how well we know this place, how much we feel at home, receive kindness and the amazing school we are a part of.

Another beauty of doing things for the last time is the experience of being present, open and grateful for the life unfolding. So, with much contentment and sentiment, we say: Hejdå Bagarmossen!

Before we say goodbye, here are some snapshots from our last times.

Till next time,